Saturday, October 31, 2009

big fat :::sigh:::

Look I know I have been quiet here. I know that I haven't been posting as much as you are use to and I even know that I have addressed my absence a few time before this with my usual "oh things are busy but I'm a trooper" crap. The truth is life is hard. This has been the hardest thing for me to accept with becoming an adult. No longer can my mom call me in sick so that I can stay home and relax. No more can I be excused from assignments for various reasons. and No longer can I decided "I don't LIKE this anymore" and walk away. Nope I'm an adult. I'm an emancipated married adult who can not just walk away from responsibilities nor do I feel that that is a reasonable solution for me anymore. I take pride in what I accomplish whether it be my marriage (franking one of the most important and satisfying things I have ever done) my knitting, my work (or even school when that was still apart of what I did) and my friendships.

Unfortunately the past few weeks have tested my ability to gauge my successes in some of these areas. It seems I have taken blow after blow but instead of feeling like I can show people how I really feel about the situations I have been put in I somehow feel I have to suck it up and move on. Really all I feel like doing is screaming from the roof tops "THIS ISN'T FAIR!" but then I remind my self that life isn't fair and I eat oreos.

I keep reminding my self "hey you have all four limbs working and you don't even need glasses! be thankful!" but it's amazing how a few rough spots and really dominate over all the wonderful things in life.

But seriously why do we feel the need to keep hard times so quiet. Like we don't all have them? Seriously. We all have rough weeks at work or we find out a friendship isn't what we thought it was. We make a stupid mistake that seems to ruin our lives forever (not really but that's how it FEELS and that's what's important). We all hit that time where nothing is fun cause the negative dominates. But can we talk about it openly? No. We're suppose to be happy and grateful for all the good things. And I am! Don't get me wrong. I feel that I have some really amazing people in my life and I feel that I have been blessed with some amazing things in life. But still.

SO that's why I have been so quiet. I am having a giant pity party for my self and because of this pity party I am at a loss as to what to talk to you about. I had even lost my knitting mojo for a week there (a direct result from one of the recent events but it's not fair to go into it here) oh and I also gave up my ticket to F1, because I had to be a responsible adult, just so you know. Pity Party!

Whoa. Thanks for listening.


~* Berry *~ said...


Your company sucks for working you so hard

Adrianna said...

What's wrong with wearing glasses??

Lindsay said...

nothin' - but i was grabbing at straws at that point